if you are a subscriber to #yearonpaper you might’ve seen what inspired me to write this post today. earlier on in the year, there was a moment when i felt i was just getting by, in every sense of the word. actually, lots of moments. i was pretty busy working so i felt like i was certainly getting by, but mentally i, as i wrote, wasn’t thriving. there wasn’t much making me feel just excited or passionate. there wasn’t anything driving me to get outside of my comfort zone. there i was, just getting by.
so i wrote the line in the title of this post. i honestly just felt kind of bad that i was in such a rut because for one, it lasted forever and i do feel like i’m still working on it (major), and two, i know there are so many things to be excited about or at least propelled by in life, that it seemed unfair to myself and everyone else that i wasn’t out there trying.
heavy stuff. so my #yearonpaper assignment to myself after reading this was to reflect on the last few months and think about all the little victories. after doing this, i came across something i hadn’t noticed in awhile… lots of little victories! and even some big ones.
over the last few months i decided to throw myself into both my work—that’s two major jobs plus a lot of part time things like the blog market—and the project i’ve been working on. plus, i copied my friend janell when she wrote about all the little things she’s been doing (have i referenced this yet? i feel like i almost have a million times) just around her house and in her life—lots of little things like spring cleaning and getting healthier that have led to changes.
i started a cleaning list of my own and ended up scouting out some new recycled goodies for my home, started collaborating with a couple artists on some pieces to make my home happier, decorated my office, and lots more little, TINY things. there was a week where i exercised each day for five days straight which embarrassingly had not been done since college and i can’t begin to explain how much better i felt afterward (and since have been trying to recreate it).
print by ps lettering shop.
just like my running…which is awkward and far too public on the busy streets near my place, and includes lots of walking and stopping to literally smell the roses and quite audibly sigh at the brightness of the bougainvillea, i feel like these past few months have been filled with hiccups and brief pauses but more importantly, always, continued progress. i can feel myself more actively making an effort than i have in awhile in most facets of my life (read: most… i’ll get there). i am rounding the corner to last august when i felt things started to go really wrong for no particular reason at all just everything at once, and it’s taken time to not just get back—it’s not about getting back because there was not really a space mentally i wanted to get back to—but move forward.